It's 1:30 a.m.

And I can't get my mind to shut off, even though my body is ready for sleep. Ah, the joys of anxiety disorder. It's funny, what probably kept my ancestors alive in ancient times, you know being extra vigilant, has become my ball of nervousness that I can't get rid of. All in all, I think I belong to a relatively anxious family. It has manifested in different ways with different members. My particular incarnation is anxiety disorder.

Right now, my hormones are trying to normalize after having the baby so I'm dealing with a bit more intensity than I'm used to. I've had insomnia for a while, but I think *hope* I'm starting to break out of the cycle.

I reclaimed my room today. Even though we still have things to do to Sydney's room to really make it hers, I moved her out of my room today. It's nice being all by myself. It's quite liberating actually. It's important to have a place that's just mine. I haven't had that for a while. I have it now and I'm happy.

This week marks the first week of summer vacation for us. We're two days in and so far so good. The kids and I went for a long walk today to the library, Subway, and the gas station near our house to get drinks. It was really nice to get out. I love a good sunny day.

Ethan makes me laugh everyday. I love the way his mind works. His thought process is so funny sometimes. Case in point, Sunday night we were coming home from my mom and dad's house after a nice visit. We were almost home and about ready to pass the gas station near our house when Ethan says, "Mommy, the Icee store is not on fire." A little confused, I said, "Yeah. You're right. It's not on fire." He then said, "It's not an emergency." It was then that I realized that he was thinking about the fact that I had told him we don't go to the store on Sunday unless it's an emergency. I then said, "You're right. It's not an emergency." He said, "But I want an Icee. But it's not an emergency." He was a little disappointed, so I told him we could go another time.

It's nice to know that something I'm teaching him is sinking in. It was just too funny that he made the jump from emergency to on fire. I guess that's where the almost-5-year-old mind goes when he thinks 'emergency'.

All in all, today was a good day. I hope tomorrow is good too...that's really all we can hope for in life I think, a succession of good days and the strength to see the not so good ones in the best light.

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