Christmas Cookies For Santa

It's The Most Crazy Time Of The Year

To paraphrase the famous song, that's how I feel today. I noticed today that I haven't blogged in over a week! Where are my priorities people?! I'll tell you where, they're at the store, along with all of my money.


Let's see...what has been going on with us...


Dan worked about 60 hours last week and his brakes need to be fixed on his car so he has been taking my car to work...


I've been trying to finish last minute projects and get everything ready for Christmas. I finally mailed Becki's present to California today. I used priority mail, so it should get there on time...I hope...


I've been finishing Christmas shopping and making Dan drive me in the snow because I hate driving in it...it's one of my many sources of neurotic anxiety these days.


Other than that, I've been trying to get rid of this cold. I think it's finally going away. I was sick last year on Christmas so I'm hoping it will be gone by Thursday.


So, Merry Christmas Everyone! Here are the Christmas cards I made using my digital scrapbooking software.

Potty Training Stuff

I decided to write a post on this again, because I'm starting with a new approach. Ethan is definitely not the potty boot camp kind where you do it in a short amount of time. We're still in Pull-Ups, but that's okay. He'll learn it eventually. I mean, I just started doing "Potty Time" yesterday and he's already come to me twice to tell me that there is poopy in his Pull-Up and we need to put it in the toilet and he already peed once yesterday. That's progress and we're both happy with it. It's important for us both to be relaxed and happy about this or it won't go well for either of us.

I called my pediatrician's office yesterday for some ideas, since Ethan is my first child and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. They referred me to a doctor who specializes in child development. I left a message for him and he was gracious enough to call me back with some ideas. They seem to be working.

This is our plan so far:

1. Scheduled potty times throughout the day, about once an hour or so, or whenever he wants to go.

2. Putting the poopy in the toilet and flushing it down so he knows where it goes.

3. Using the potty box and getting a treat for trying to go.

4. Positive reinforcement. Positive correction for accidents by saying, "Uh oh, you got poopy and pee pee in your underwear, it goes in the toilet."

5. Doing all potty related stuff, like cleaning him up, etc., in the bathroom.

Anyway, I know a lot of moms out there stress about potty training their kids. These were just some ideas that I thought were good and they're working for us. I get the best of both worlds. I'm teaching Ethan to do something grown up, but I'm not cleaning up human waste every five minutes.

My mantra to myself is, "Don't worry. He'll get it eventually." I know he will, and we're both happier now that I'm comfortable with what I'm doing.

Family Pics

We went to have family pictures done on Friday and we got some really cute ones, so I thought I'd share. I was surprised that Ethan cooperated as well as he did. Enjoy!

The Sun Is Back

After the dark day of wading through puke, it was a refreshing change to have my little boy back to normal today. He bounced back so fast! He was so miserable yesterday, but he slept a lot and that must've done the trick....so no more puke here! Hooray! As far as my grandma, the surgery went well and she's going to be fine, thank goodness. It's not a very aggressive cancer so they're confident that she'll be okay. My grandpa should go to the doctor this week, but he's fine with the way things are if they can't do anything. He's been on oxygen for about a year and a half now without any problems. He can continue to do that if he needs to.

All in all, the storms of yesterday seem to have passed for the moment. I know there will be others in my life, but it seems as though they don't usually hit all in the same time frame like they did this week. Oh well, I guess I passed the test. I've proved my worth, Fear Factor style, by testing my gross out factor and lots of prayers for the other stuff.

I learned something today, Heavenly Father truly is aware of us and our problems. He truly is there for us through everything in this life. Sometimes he lets us go through things because it's what needs to happen for us to grow. Sometimes he helps us out of situations because we need to see miracles in our lives. We learned about miracles in Sunday School this week. God truly is a God of miracles. They are big and small, all around us. Look around in your life and I bet you'll see a few.

When It Rains...

It pours...we've all heard that statement before. It seem to be, whoever knows me is having crappy things happen to them, time. My grandma is in surgery right now for a cancerous lump, one of my closest friends is going through a divorce, my grandpa is going in for a lung procedure this week because they think blood is pooling in his lung causing decreased lung capacity, and, to top it all off, Ethan and Dan both have the stomach flu.

They also say, it isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. Well, at my house, we'll probably be dancing in puke not rain, but at least the doctor said this will be over in 24 to 48 hours. Poor kid can't keep anything down, not even medicine. I've been successful with two teaspoons of water at a time in 15 minute intervals so far, so we'll see what happens. I just know I've been washing my hands, sterilizing, and washing all of his bedding. At least I'm getting exercise running up and down the stairs over and over for various things Ethan needs. I'm glad I got that good night's sleep last night, I'm going to need it today.

Mmm candy cane hot chocolate....

Twilight...

Well, I got to see it this weekend. I really enjoyed the movie. I was afraid of how it might translate to the screen from the book, but I think they did a really good job casting the whole thing. I thought the acting was good, and yes, there were some gooey parts to the movie, but if you think back, the book was that way in parts too. It is geared towards teenage girls after all.

For me, it took me back to how I felt when Dan and I were first together, that can't live without you, my heart aches when you're not there, type of feeling. I've always enjoyed this story because it takes me back to a piece of myself when I was a "Bella," as I think everyone was. I always felt that I was not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, and that I was so awkward at times that it was bordering on painful. That is why I enjoy these stories. I guess it fulfills that desire of my teenage heart to be rescued during that time by my Edward.

The casting was really well done in the movie. I really enjoyed all of the main characters and their portrayals of them. I especially liked the guy who played Charlie. I thought overall, everyone did a good job and they definitely picked the right Edward and the right Bella.

Overall, I really enjoyed the movie. I love losing myself in a story like that, whether it's reading it or watching it. If you haven't seen it, go see it and lose yourself in it. It's nice to take a break from reality...even if it's only for a couple of hours.

My Project

So, I mentioned in my Twitters last week that I had finished a craft project and that it was a surprise for someone so I couldn't say more about it. I'm rather proud of it, so I thought I'd share some pictures. My cousin/friend, Rachel, is having a baby girl in December. Her baby shower was this past Saturday. I have crocheted for many years, but have never really made anything except scarves, afghans, you know the easy stuff that's just straight lines. Well, I decided to attempt to crochet a baby sweater. It turned out so cute that I had to do a hat to match!

To begin I had to have yarn. I have tons of yarn, but none of it seems to be in girlish colors...go figure. I tried a pattern in a book I had, but it was way too complicated for a first attempt at this so I searched online and found a pattern. I then added my own twist to it by finding a flower applique pattern and attaching flowers to it and doing edging. Then, the sweater turned out so cute I had to do a hat to match, so I found a simple hat pattern and added flowers to it also. All in all, I think it turned out pretty cute.

More Pictures

Liz shared her pictures with me and I picked out a few because she got some good ones. She got a picture of me while they were singing "I'll Be Loving You" and a picture of Jenn freaking out. Priceless memories. That's what these are.

We Came, We Saw, We Freaked Out!

As some of you may know, I went to the New Kids On The Block concert on Saturday at the E-Center with Liz and Jenn! We had such a great time. It all started with the obligatory dinner at Applebee's. The place was packed with fans and some were even dressed up. My personal favorite was a table of girls who all had side ponytails and New Kids shirts on. Anyway, after dinner we headed over to the arena. We had to get our memorabilia, along with every other housewife there, so Jenn and I got keychains and Liz got a lanyard to mark the momentous occasion.

The first act started, Lady Gaga, which was not very good at all. I turned to Liz and said, "Is it just me or is it loud?" She said, "It's only loud because you're a mom." Thank goodness "Ms. Gaga" was only on for like four or five songs. We waited with anticipation. Natasha Bettingfield was next. She did a good job, but I didn't come to see her, I came to see my boys! After what seemed like forever, it was time for the concert to start. We screamed so loud, sang all the songs, and danced and waved our arms in the air like we were young in 1990 again. My personal favorite part was when Jordan, who was always my favorite, sang "I'll Be Loving You." That was a great moment for me.

Liz and Jenn laughed because I actually really freaked at that point. After having a night of so much fun and waving our hands in the air to "Hangin' Tough." It was time for them, and us, to go.

We were so hyper and none of us could hear because our ears were still buzzing. We giggled like little 12 year olds all the way home and grooved to Liz's New Kids mix in the car. We had so much fun! It was nice to get out and have a girls night to watch my boys up there singing their hearts out. We really had a great time. Jenn actually cried when they came out, like I knew she would. I just had to capture, in video form, how happy she really was to be there.



Here are some pictures from the night.



I heart Jordan. :)

Rocking it at the concert!

Current Events...

I've recently had people ask me why I haven't posted anything on the election results yet. Part of it was that I wasn't sure how I felt about things yet. I am definitely not a democrat, and I definitely wasn't supporting Obama. I don't think he's completely amoral like Clinton though. At least he has the good sense to be faithful to his wife and try to be a good person. I don't think he's evil, I just disagree with the way he chooses to govern, at least somewhat.

Here's what I like about him. He is inspiring, a good speaker, and he is idealistic. Here's what I don't like about him, he uses a lot of "feel good" words without saying exactly what the plan will be. I'm a planner, I need to know how we're going to make this country "change." I understand that he can't necessarily lay out his entire plan right there in front of me in the few minutes he is speaking or doing a debate, but I expect some answers. I expect to find out how we are "changing" and what we are "changing" exactly. If I got in a car accident and it dented my car, that would be a "change" too, is that the kind of change he is talking about? I don't know. He never said.

I don't want socialized healthcare. We have the greatest healthcare system in the world. That is a direct result of capitalism. I agree that some people need the benefit of government healthcare, but definitely not everyone! People should be able to make their own way in this world and work hard for what they have. In the former East Germany, when it was still under communist rule, people were given everything they "needed," food, shelter, healthcare, etc. However, if you are given something without having to work for it then you take no pride in it. This whole socialistic attitude is why East Germany is still looking bleak and full of concrete buildings, poor people, and crime and West Germany is flourishing.

I don't believe that my tax dollars should just automatically go to people just because they are Americans. I'm proud of what I have worked for. I've worked hard. I think everyone should work, who is able, for the things they need and want in this life. That's not to say that I don't believe in charity. I absolutely believe you should help others in any way you can. If people can't work because they or someone in their family is disabled should they receive aid? Absolutely, without question. If someone is just sitting around living on the government because it's "easier" for them, should they get aid? No. Absolutely not. That's not fair to any person in this country who pays taxes. It's also contributing to the debt of our nation.

On to my next point, and I think this is a very conservative view, but it's how I feel. I don't want the government running my life, telling me what kinds of items I can buy with my hard earned money. I don't want them telling me who to see and where to go when I'm sick or delivering a child. I don't want to be told how to live my life.

Most of all, in the name of political correctness, I don't want to be asked to forget my religious views. I try my best to be a good person. I try not to judge people and try to be kind like everyone else, but just because I disagree with someone who is different than me, be it because of sexual orientation, religion, whatever, doesn't mean I have any less right to speak out. That's what this country is about, speaking out. I also don't think it's right to harass people or to bombard them into our views. I think that the gay and lesbian communities wanting to hold all of these protests and send postcards, etc. specifically directed at the LDS church is ridiculous. They can blame whomever they want, but the measure passed legally in the election. That is the way to fight things, not by defiling a sacred place of worship by yelling and screaming at those going in to find peace. They can disagree with whomever they want. They can hate me, they can hate my religion, they can even disagree with me, but isn't it infringing on my right of freedom of religion and freedom of speech to yell slurs at me as I go to worship in my holy temple?

As far as President Elect Obama is concerned, as I said before, I don't think he's a bad guy. Maybe he'll even do some good things. The nature of politics is that not everybody is happy all the time. That's the way democracy works. If everyone had to agree on everything before anything was decided, nothing would get done. You can't make everyone happy all the time. You can only make some people happy some of the time. That's just the way life, and in this case politics, works.

As I look forward to how my world will unfold and what this election will do to our country I wonder what will happen. I wonder how President Obama will change this country. I am not one of these weirdos saying he will break our country or anything. I don't think any one person can do that. Nobody except God has that kind of power.

Whether you voted Obama or not, which in my case is the latter, it's important to respect those around you. I've endured two years leading up to this election of political propaganda. I don't want to live in that world anymore. It's over. Let's let it be over and move forward.

My New Makeover

I recently got some Mary Kay makeup from Jenny because I had a party last week and I got my hair colored and cut by Melisa on Tuesday. I went darker than I usually do, but I love it! I also didn't get a weave this time. I think she did a great job. I'm feeling good about my new makeover.

Twas The Night Before Election...

Between the phone calls from various recordings, endless commercial rants on television, and the mounds of campaign literature that goes straight into the recycle bin at my house, I'm ready for election time to be done. I even had a candidate visit my home on Saturday. He was going door to door to meet as many voters as possible. While I commend the efforts of everyone trying to sway my vote, I've already decided who I'm voting for! It doesn't matter how many leaflets you send, or how many trees you kill to do it, I'm done. Surprisingly, I've gotten much more literature from the democrats rather than the republicans. This was surprising to me because, aren't they supposed to be the "enviornmentalists" out there? Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Granted, I usually vote conservatively. I usually vote republican, but I don't always vote that way. My view is to vote for the person, not the party, at least for the most part.

I am grateful for this nation where we each have the ability to express our own opinion and help choose the leaders here. It's important that everyone go vote. I don't care who you vote for as long as you're voting for who you believe is right. Obviously everyone won't agree on who wins or who each individual is voting for. I hate that everyone has to feel like they have to convert everyone else to their political views. Isn't that taking away from what this country is all about? This country is a wonderful place of varying opinions and different types of people. Others trying to dictate what we believe is not American. I will believe what I will and I will respect your choice to believe what you want, regardless of whether or not it's on the same "side" as me. I won't even try to convert you. I'll just let you be. I wish everyone would let me be. How did the governor get my phone number anyway?

Trick Or Treat!

I took Ethan trick or treating in my parents neighborhood tonight. They had a trunk or treat at the church and then we went to a few houses around the neighborhood before it started to rain. Ethan had such a great time! He was a little nervous at first, but once he realized he could get candy just for saying trick or treat, he was all over it. He had so much fun that he fell asleep, I mean dead asleep, on the way home. What a fun night!

Happy Halloween!

Ethan and I did his pumpkin today. We got a pirate Mr. Potato Head set. He really likes it, but he's sad that the pumpkin has to live outside. Here is a video of him playing with it and some pictures of us having fun with it.





Happy Halloween!

Our Corner Of The World

The world may be in an "economic crisis" but we're still fine here in our corner of the world. I think it's warranted that a lot of people are panicking about the current financial state of the world. I mean, if you live on credit for so long, as everyone was doing...even the banks, eventually the bubble will burst. If you live something that is not totally truth, the truth will eventually rear it's head, usually at the most inopportune times.

In these hard times I hear of people losing their jobs, losing their homes, not being able to afford food, and other such things. These things are horrible. Sometimes they're happening to people through no fault of their own either, like my niece. She and her husband faithfully paid their rent on a house in Bountiful earlier this year. They found out that even though they had been faithfully paying their rent, their landlord hadn't been so faithful with the mortgage. Off they went in a frantic push to find a home for rent for their family.

One thing I've been thinking a lot about lately is the "cycles of pride" in the Book of Mormon. The people would be humble, converted, and turn to God. God, in turn, would bless them. The people would be prosperous, then greedy, then prideful, then fall. They would then be humbled and turn to God again. If you don't hear something when the Spirit whispers it to you, it will be spoken louder and louder, until finally you're forced to deal with it. I think regardless of technology or the century we live in we, as people of this world, are a lot like those in the Book of Mormon at times. Sometimes catastrophic things happen to allow people to realize what is really important and to turn to God. God doesn't cause bad things to happen, but he allows things to happen to us so we can learn what is really important. I hope in these times that people will take advantage of this opportunity.

As for us personally, we're doing fine. We have sufficient for our needs. I'm really realizing the depth of that statement. I don't really need a lot of the things I used to think that I needed. I hope that we all start to realize through this crisis that we're going to be okay. I also think that it's an important time to be humble and remember those around us. Whatever you have that is extra may be just the thing that someone in need is praying for.

Halloween Came Early This Year...

My husband decided to go as the Elephant Man with a doll hand.

Really he was helping his dad out with winterizing his bee hives and there was a hole in the suit. He didn't even realize that until a bee was in his ear! So, obviously, he didn't want to alarm the patients on the cardiac unit and cause someone to have a heart attack, so he called in sick to work today. We know he got stung at least three times. At one point last night his head was so swollen his ear started to close up. Luckily he's doing better. He still looks a bit deformed, but the doll hand is less now. I just think it's funny how big his hand is, it's all chubby like a doll hand, but it has man hair on it. What a freaky doll that would be!

Hunting Trip

We had a really great weekend! We went up to the cabin up at Bear Lake for our annual family hunting trip. I, of course, don't hunt. It's more of a camping out up at the cabin trip for me. Dan didn't get a tag this year for deer so he was there to help Kylea and Mike get their deer. Linda's nephew Ryan was also there for his first deer. All of the tags got filled. It was a really good hunt. We were grateful for that. Kylea got her first deer and Ryan got his first deer. Mike also got a deer. Mike's family is going to end up with a lot of meat since both he and Kylea got deer. We still have meat from ours from last year! Oh well, it's good meat and we're using everything. Thank goodness it freezes.

Ethan had a great time. Ben brought his whole family up and the kids played the entire weekend. Ethan loves to play with Gideon. It was really a fun time. Keith and Linda also brought their four wheelers so we got to take the kids on rides and stuff. On Monday, just before we came home, I took Ethan for one last ride. I asked him if he wanted to go fast and he said, "Faster! Faster!" so we went faster. He was laughing and screaming. He said to me, "Is it fun Mommy?" I said, "Yeah, are you having fun?" He said "Yeah, fun." It was cute. He's funny, he doesn't quite have the first person talking thing down yet. When he wants something he always starts with "You want ..." because that's how I ask him if he wants something.

I love going up to the cabin. It's so relaxing. We watched movies, ate lots of yummy food, played together, and I got to read my book. We even went shooting the guns on Sunday night after Kylea and Mike had both gotten their deer. I got to shoot Dan's 12 gage shotgun, which is a first for me. We also took turns shooting all the other guns. We set up targets. It was really fun.

In case you're wondering, the little goats in the picture are Mike and Chris's. Their goat, Puca, had her kids just before the trip and was not taking a shine to them, so they brought them up the day after they were born because she wasn't taking care of them. They're so cute! The kids loved the kids. They're bottle fed, but hopefully they'll be on grass soon! Mariah and Mikayla slept on the floor of the garage on foam matresses to feed them every two to four hours, just like real babies!

Times like this, making memories, are why I'm grateful for my family.

The Haunted Canyon

So Jenny won another contest. She's always winning things, but no complaints here, I get to reap the benefits. She won tickets to the Haunted Canyon train on the Heber Valley Railroad and invited Ethan and I to go. Moby didn't go because the BYU game was on and Dan didn't go because he was picking up a shift at the hospital so Jenny and I piled the kids in the car and headed out. After Jenny's NASCAR like skill driving us down to Heber and up the canyon where the train would leave from, we finally got there. Ethan was so excited that he could barely contain himself. He was jumping up and down and couldn't hold still. He was so excited!

We got on the train, which was all decked out with spiderwebs and spooky lights. They had scary music going as well. We found our seats and the kids, Jenny, and I settled in for the ride. They had a storyteller who told scary ghost stories with sound effects and music over the intercom system. They had little ghosts outside the train and some inside the train too. Ethan got a little scared a couple of times, but all in all he had a really good time. We all had a lot of fun.



I'm so grateful I'm so close to Jenny. She's more like my sister than my friend and I can tell her anything. This has been so great for us to have our kids be friends. They truly love each other. On the way home, Ethan was tickling Julia by nuzzling her with his head. Such a silly boy. We stopped at Wendy's on the way home and got some food and ended a really good time. Jenny, thanks for the great time. We love you guys so much! I don't know what I'd do without you!

Getting My House In Order

I think the economic crisis has its benefits. All of this talk of money, people losing their homes, people losing jobs, etc. makes me grateful for what I have. One of the things I have realized is that things are not all that important. People are important. We only need what is sufficient for our needs. Everything else is just extra. How many people can say they have extra just laying around? Most Americans probably. Yesterday and today I went through my closet. I sold some things at the second hand store and the rest went to DI. I'm so grateful for what I have. What if that sweater that I never wear anymore or that perfectly good pair of jeans that haven't been worn in months can do somebody some good? It won't do anybody any good sitting in a closet I can tell you that!

I've been thinking a lot about "getting my house in order" and simplifying my life. I feel so much better knowing that the shoes I don't need anymore could be worn by someone that really needs them instead of taking up room in a box that hasn't been opened in months. This also solved another laundry problem! I actually have hangers again! If I need something, thank goodness I have the means to go out and get it, but at least I don't have all of this extra stuff hanging around when it could be out there doing some good.

I guess I'm learning and growing when I don't even know it.

Tagged by Elisa...8 Things

8 TV Shows I Love To Watch

1. The Office
2. Heroes
3. Bones
4. House
5. Fringe
6. Lost
7. American Idol
8. Chuck

8 Favorite Restaurants

1. Olive Garden
2. Ruby River
3. Cafe Rio
4. El Burrito
5. El Matador
6. Chili's
7. Applebee's
8. The Original Pancake House

8 Things That Happened Yesterday

1. We went to church.
2. I got set apart as a substitute primary teacher.
3. Dan went to work.
4. Ethan and I went over to Mom & Dad's to hang out with everyone.
5. I took a nap.
6. We had dinner.
7. I did laundry.
8. I watched TV.

8 Things I am Looking Forward To

1. Getting my car fixed.
2. Trip to the cabin for the weekend.
3. No more Clomid.
4. No more diapers.
5. Jenny getting back from Phoenix.
6. Hitting the hay for tonight.
7. Fixing up our house.
8. Paying off debt.

8 Things I Love About Fall

1. It's colder.
2. Better clothes to wear.
3. The beautiful colors.
4. Halloween
5. Thanksgiving
6. Pumpkin Pie
7. Family time.
8. Driving up in the mountains to see the leaves.

8 Things On My Wish List

1. Pay off debt.
2. Fix up the house.
3. Sell the house at some point.
4. Get Ethan potty trained.
5. Get pregnant.
6. To not be so stressed all the time.
7. Lose more weight if the pregancy thing takes a while longer.
8. Be more spiritual.

Okay, I'm tagging....Kerri, Liz, Jenn, Jenny, Christen, John, Scott, and Melisa. :)

Something's Rotten...But I Don't Know Where

For months I've been wondering about a smell coming from my pantry. It was really bad at one point, but then I cleaned it and it seemed to go away, or at least lessen significantly, but it was kind of always there. I just assumed it was the dust/dirt of the pantry...you know things like potatoes, etc. They're dirty and dusty...I didn't think much of it.

I was making dinner when all of the sudden, Ethan slipped on the kitchen floor and fell. I walked over to him and stepped on something gooey in the middle of the kitchen floor. He had been playing with a peach cup that still had a bit of syrup in it from lunch and I figured it was just that. I wiped it up and got back to making dinner. I walked across the kitchen again a few minutes later to get something and the goo was back. Where was it coming from? I opened the pantry and low and behold...we had one of those HUGE bottles of bubbles...I'm talking like the ones that are almost a gallon of bubble solution. It has been in our pantry waiting to be used for the last little while because Ethan hasn't gone through all of his other bubbles yet...and somehow it had a hole in it. How it got the hole, I don't know, but what I do know is that bubble solution was EVERYWHERE! It was all over the floor of my pantry, all over the bottom shelf...all over the various things stacked in all of those places.

Shortly after I discovered this, I began to try and clean it up the best I could, all while making dinner. Dan walked in the door and I told him what happened and said that I needed help so that things wouldn't get ruined and that dinner wouldn't burn. He cleaned out everything from the bottom of the pantry...luckily nothing was ruined. Here's the funny part though...you remember that smell? It was some potatoes that had fallen in back of some of the stuff in the pantry. They had gone completely rancid and rotten. That was what had been smelling! If the bubbles hadn't leaked everywhere...still can't figure out how it happened, it's not as if I store knives in my pantry or anything...we would've gone who knows how long without knowing those gross potatoes were there.

I guess my point is this. Crappy things happen sometimes, but sometimes you are better for it. I think Heavenly Father uses this principal with us sometimes. We have our happy little lives that we live in. We, as humans, like to ignore the things about ourselves that we need to fix sometimes. It is only when the "bubble bursts" so to speak that we are forced to look at the reality of the situation...the stinking potatoes...and fix the problem.

Something to think about...

Soul Searching

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I've been thinking about where I am in my life, where I want to be in my life, my faith, my family, and Heavenly Father's plan for me. I know that God only gives us what we can handle. I know I'll get pregnant eventually, but I'm content right now knowing that I'm following the plan God has for me. It's just not time yet. Sounds simple, but it took a lot of work internally to come to that realization. It's funny, I was just asking, "Why me?" a few days ago, and now I guess I got my answer.

I know in my heart that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true church on this Earth. I know that God loves me personally and knows me personally. He knows me better than I even know myself. I know that, when the time is right, we'll bring another little one into our family. The time is just not right, right now. That's not to say that we're stopping trying or anything. I want to give Him every opportunity to allow me to become a mother for a second time. The road of infertility can be frustrating and taxing on the spirit. We get frustrated because we don't know everything right now and because we can't have everything fixed right now. That's human nature I guess....at least it is for me. I'll continue on with my plans to get whatever it is that is not happening with my body to happen, but I've decided I'm not going to stress out about it anymore. It's too much work! Stress takes a real toll on me. Besides, I've got other things to do. I've decided I'm too busy for stressing out over this anymore. I know that I'm a Daughter of God. He loves me for who I am now and who I will be in the future. He knows my impatient spirit and I'm sure he gets a good chuckle out of it sometimes. If that's one thing I'm supposed to learn in this life, it's patience. It's not one of my strong suits.

Anyway, if this sounds rambling, I'm sorry. It's 12:40 a.m. and I should be in bed, but obviously I'm not...I'm typing. I was just thinking this and sometimes things seem so clear in a quiet house with my boys asleep in bed. I wanted to write it down before I forgot it, which is likely given my sleep deprived state. I had a clearing of my mind tonight. I don't believe that was coincidence...it was an answer to prayers. I finally know the why...however simple it is.

Gone With The Wind - The Book

Well, I finished it, all 1445 pages. I believe it's probably the longest book I've read. I have to say, I can see why this book is revered as an important piece of American literature. I have read Civil War period pieces before, but never from a Southern perspective. I throroughly enjoyed getting into the lives and heads of those characters in the book. I have to say that sometimes Scarlett is annoyingly selfish, but she does grow and change in the book. She meets her match in Rhett Butler, but is too blinded by her childhood crush to see it.

I loved this book even more than I loved the movie. I can see myself reading it over and over again, even knowing the ending. I loved the characters, well most of them....I was annoyed by Ashley, but that's another story. I loved the story line. I loved the history of the book. To read about the battles of Vicksburg, Gettysburg, etc. was facinating. Reading about the fall of Atlanta when General Sherman marched through was interesting as well.

This story starts out with Scarlett as a young Southern belle at the ripe old age of 16. All she has to worry about in life is how many boys she can string along. It ends with Scarlett at 28 going through marriages, widowhood, children, friends dying, being driven from her home, almost starving, and finding her way back up to be able to support herself and her family. Scarlett grows and changes in this book. She is not some romantic character who always does or thinks the right things. She is not very noble and does most things to meet her own ends, but you get a real view into the way we all are sometimes.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who loves literature and a great story. Excellent book!

In Case You're Wondering....

About my last post...I'm just frustrated. I'm frustrated with the whole infertility thing. My body has had a child before, why can't it do it again? What am I supposed to be learning from this? Why is it that druggie women who have had four children taken away from them can have yet a fifth drug addicted baby? I don't know the answers to any of these questions and that is what is so frustrating. I guess that's why I'm here on this Earth, to learn answers to questions. I just don't understand why, if He has control over everything, He can't or won't fix this for me. I guess that's horrible to say, but that's how I feel about it.

As for my post yesterday, I had just gotten off the phone with the nurse at my doctor's office. She happily informed me that she would call in my prescription of Clomid with one more refill beyond this. After that, I'll be referred to a "fertility specialist." So the clock is ticking. I do NOT want to enter that world of fertility shots, more drugs, etc. Why can't it just happen?

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for my life. I'm grateful for my family and I'm grateful for my son. I'm trying to see the positive things in life, but that doesn't mean I'm not entitled to feel frustrated every now and then. This world of "unexplained infertility" is not an easy world to live in. The fact is, it's not the world I would've chosen to live in.

The other night Dan and I were talking about this very thing. I think in order to be happy I have to just look at other things. Yes, I can still be upset about this challenge in my life, but it's not good for me, for Dan, or for Ethan for me to dwell on it all of the time. I can't let it take over my life. If I do, I'll be miserable and no good to anyone.

Does this mean I'm giving up on getting pregnant? Nope. I'm still going to do everything the doctors tell me to do. I'm still going to take the pills and whatever else they give me to take. I'm still going to watch and wait and hope each month. I've just got to figure out a way not to get discouraged and devastated each month when it doesn't happen. Will I ever figure that out? I don't know. Again, this life experience is all about answering questions.

I have faith that someday I will be pregnant and have a child again. I know in my heart that someday it will happen. Someday can't come soon enough for me now though. I'm trying to be patient, but it isn't in my genetics to be so.

Here's hoping for some answers...

We're Doomed...

If we suddenly had a nuclear hollocaust today and I was the last woman on Earth...and it was up to me to save the human race....we'd be doomed.

That is all.

My Week...

Besides being an emotional wreck, things have been pretty good this week. I'm on the up swing with emotions one minute and a down swing the next, so either I'm crazy, going to start my period, or pregnant. I have yet to find out which of these are the right answer.

Anyway, my O2 sensor went out in my car this week. I had the dreaded "Service Engine Soon" light come on in my car. The first thought that went through my mind, after the initial dread that the light going on brings, was, "We just serviced the engine by buying a new one? What could it need now?" Anyway, my dad and his friend Frank (who were both awesome for coming over on short notice) came over and hooked Frank's diagnostic computer up to my car. Frank is a mechanic, and a very good one, so I was glad they came over. Low and behold, the computer said that the O2 sensor was out. I had called Big O Tires earlier in the day to find out what it would cost for at least a diagnostic with the computer, $79.99. I said I thought it was my O2 sensor, they said that would probably be around $175, including the $79.00 in that price. Needless to say, I was a little stressed. We just don't have that kind of money right now to plop down. Anyway, after Frank diagnosed the car for us, my dad was able to hook me up with the part for a great price of $45 and Dan put it in this morning. Thank goodness for the handy men in my life. I know that's something I couldn't have done on my own. Now our "dependable" car is dependable again.

We went to the circus on Wednesday night. Ethan had a really great time. He was a little overwhelmed when we first took him in though. It was just too loud and there were lights and stuff. He didn't really remember going from last year, I think. He loved the tigers. He also loved the motorcycles in the sphere. My mom spoiled him, of course, and got him one of those lights. This year, it was the one with the motorcycles in the sphere...he took it to bed with him. It was really nice to go out as a family. Dan hasn't really ever gotten to do anything like that with us before. It's usually just Ethan and I. We had a really fun time. I haven't uploaded the pics from my camera yet, but I'll post them as soon as I do. I think we're going to make the circus a yearly tradition at my house, especially if KSL keeps sponsoring the first night and making all the seats $10. We had really great seats in the lower bowl!

All in all, this week has been pretty good. We've just been hanging out trying to do our normal things. We did the shopping last night at Sam's Club, which Ethan loves. I got to watch the new episode of The Office last night and the new ER, both of which made me immensely happy, especially The Office. Awesome!!!

Here's to praying my emotions stay on the up swing...

Circus fries are yummy!

The 28th Day...

For those of you who have ever had to "try" to get pregnant, you'll know how significant that day is. Though most women don't have 28 day cycles, it's usually the first day people are like, "Okay, I can test now." I was one of those women this morning. Unfortunately, the result was negative. I don't know if that will change in a few days or if I'll get a visit from dear old "Aunt Flo" in a few days. As they say...the waiting is the hardest part.

A littany of emotions evoke themselves when waiting for that little line to appear...or not appear. I know I want to be pregnant. I know I want to add to our family. There's always the initial disappointment when that line doesn't appear. It seems kind of silly thinking about it objectively though...peeing on a little stick and hovering while waiting to see if it will have a line or not, holding it up to the light, looking at it closely at different angles to see if you can even see a hint of a line.

It's been almost a year since we started trying to have another baby. I feel like I'll have more kids eventually, but I'm afraid I won't. That's a hard position to be in.

Each month, as time passes and my body does or doesn't do what it's supposed to do, I wait. I am grateful for what I have though. I can't imagine going through this not knowing if I would ever have ANY children at all. I've been trying to pass this "waiting" phase with various projects, cleaning, excercising, etc. I've been working on being a better "me." I think that has helped me take some of the focus off of my uterus.

Here's to waiting...

Well I Made It...And Dan Did Too

Dan did his first complete overnight shift last night. He's actually snoring away in bed right now. He worked 7:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. I think it was hard on him, but it wasn't too bad. He has been preparing for this day by staying up late, not until 7:00 a.m. but later than usual. I think that really helped him. He goes in again tonight. Ethan and I will just have a cozy day in the house while Daddy sleeps. I was going to take him to the park today so the house would be a bit quieter, but the weather had other plans.

In other news, I still haven't heard anything about my calling. I figure one of several things could've happened, they couldn't find someone to team up with me to teach, they couldn't find someone that quickly, the primary thought it would be too hard to switch off, etc. They were supposed to let me know what they "decided" yesterday at church, but nobody talked to me and I didn't get a phone call so they're either still working on it and I'll be in the primary eventually or they're working on an alternate calling for me. Either way, I'll be happy. I mean, I can do primary, just not every week. So we'll see what happens.

I made bread again yesterday...we were out and needed some. I think I'm going to go visit Debi this week sometime and bring her a loaf. She just had her new baby, Lucy, on Friday. She is such a cute baby! I'm so happy for them.

Well I Was Right....

I'm getting put in the Primary. I guess it's not so bad. I'm a little disappointed though. The only callings I've had in the 10 years since I've been out of Young Women have been Primary and Cub Scouts....nothing else. One thing that's good though is I'll have to split the class with someone. I'm not going to be able to teach every week. This is because of Dan's work schedule. I have to be able to leave to help Ethan, change diapers, etc. if needed. He has to be available to work every other weekend. One of these weekends will be day shift. He for sure won't be there on those days. The other weekend will be a night shift...Saturday night at 7:00 p.m. to Sunday morning at 7:00 a.m. He seems to think that he might make it to church on those days. I'm really thinking no, especially when we switch to 9:00 a.m. church at the beginning of the year. Maybe he'll make it to sacrament meeting, but I doubt much more than that. He'll be dead man walking.

So I'm not sure where I'm going to be teaching or when they'll put me in, but at least I know what I'll be doing now. I'm actually proud of myself that I was honest about how I couldn't do every week. I was afraid about doing that, like somehow I would be struck down right there on the spot. So I didn't say no to the calling, I just told them that I could serve, with some help. I hope that's okay for everyone around. Hopefully I won't be struck down in the near future. Though I just looked at the weather report and it is supposed to rain tomorrow....hmmm....

It Has Been A While...

It has been a while since I posted. I'm not really sure why. I guess I haven't been that inspired to write as of late. Things are going okay here. Still frustrated with my body, still plugging along with life. Nothing really has changed in that arena. I'm hoping for a baby soon, but sometimes I wonder what life will be like when that happens. I know it will be life changing...a baby always is, but I just don't see how it will "fit" into my life. Ethan is so much in my life right now, trying to divide time between two doesn't seem possible. I know it is though. Moms do it all of the time. I just hope I get a chance to try.

Dan is still enjoying his job. It has been a bit rough this week so far though...I know it's only Tuesday...but he has been working nights this week and he'll be working nights for the next couple of weeks. This is the first real test of that since clinicals in nursing school. Thankfully, this week he's not doing the overnight shift, just working late...next week he'll do the overnight shift. We'll see how that goes.

Well, back to the daily toil...laundry, housework, cooking, you know...all that stuff. I don't mind doing it so much, especially now that I'm caught up and it's not a mountain of laundry, a mountain of housework, and a ton of cooking. Nobody wants to climb mountains of anything everyday...

Yummy ice cream at the fair.

The Bees Are Buzzing...

Well, we got our harvest of honey for this year. We did pretty well. We ended up with about three gallons. We went up to Logan to Mike's house and the boys got the honey out of the hive. Ethan ended up getting stung because some errant bee followed Dan up to the house, but he was okay. Poor kid. I don't think he knew what happened. I love real honey. The stuff in the store is so dilluted...people don't know what they're missing!

Yesterday we went to visit Grampy Keith and Grammy Linda, Dan's dad and stepmom. Keith has a spinner to spin the honey out of the honeycomb. We had a great time over there and had some really good food for dinner. Ethan loved it. He played with the chickens in the chicken run for like an hour and a half! Needless to say, he got a bath...he loved to chase those chickens around. At one point, he was laughing so hard he couldn't even stand up.

So now we have our honey and it is really, really good. I'm glad we have the hive. I've even more glad I don't have to do anything with them. It's Dan's hobby. I just get to enjoy the honey.

Keep Your Temple Recommend Handy

Remember the house in Clearfield I used to live in? This was in my old stake. My sister-in-law, Lisa, sent it to me. She also lived in that house for a time.

This guy is in the Clearfield First Ward, Clearfield Utah Stake and this absolutely happened at a house on Main Street just south of 200 South. Yes, it is a true story. They left the house and rushed right over to the Bishop's office to tell the Bishop, who was Jeff Schofield at the time, and he rolled on the floor laughing. The story in itself is funny but Brother Budd's telling of it makes it even better. He approaches life with a smile and a corny joke and much laughter. Anyway, enjoy.

Hello, Here is some inspiration and humor for you...

By Daryl Zadok Budd, Clearfield, Utah - The Mormons Meet the Metro Narcotics Unit

The Elders Quorum President and I were visiting some lost souls, when they were found by the long arm of the law. As we were preparing to say the closing prayer at the conclusion of our visit we heard someone pounding on the door and yelling, 'It's the police! Open the door!' I thought, 'Oh, that old joke.' Then there was more pounding, 'It's the police! We have a search warrant!' Before this lady's boyfriend made it to the door to open it the police opened the door for him. Into the house stormed ten police officers dressed from head to toe in black body armor. Each gentleman had a submachine gun. When I saw the door burst open, read the word POLICE across the first officers Kevlar vest and saw the large gun that he had I thought, 'This is going to make a great story.' The Officer only got to 'Get on the...' and I was face down on the carpet with my hands above my head in full view. 'Get down on the ground!' The friendly officer again shouted at the President. The only trouble the President had was that the room was very small and had a coffee table in the center of it. There was no available space remaining on the floor, as the rest of us had already 'hit the deck.' There was no room left in the Inn, if you know what I mean. The Elders Quorum President therefore made the mistake of standing up from where he was sitting on the couch and trying to explain who we were. The kind officers did not seem to like this action and one very large officer stepped toward the President who then found himself looking directly into the muzzle of the gun with a bright light shining in his eyes. As the officer placed his finger over the trigger and shouted, 'I said get on the ground!!' The president decided to do so. As there was nowhere else to go, he laid on top of me, his first counselor. I never thought I would need to 'support the President' like that I assure you. I really felt the 'weight of my calling.' We were instructed not to move or speak which was difficult to say the least as I had eaten a little too much for supper and the President is not exactly a small man. After a time the President whispered, 'Are you O.K. down there?' I didn't dare answer. But a few seconds later the humor of the whole situation hit me full force and I started laughing, silently mind you, which made my body shake and the President being on top of me was well aware that I was laughing and thought, 'What in the world could he possibly be laughing at?'

After they got done handcuffing the two closest to us they were ready for us. 'Stand up and keep your hands above your head!' We arose and the officers searched us for weapons. The heroic officers did a much more extensive search of the President's person due to his earlier, 'Non-compliance'.

'Who are you?!' asked the large officer who had gently persuaded the President to get down on the floor. 'We are the Elders Quorum Presidency from a local Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' replied the President in one breath. The officers looked at each other and their weapons lowered a little bit. 'Do you have any church I.D.?' One officer asked. They gave us back our wallets and we showed them our Temple Recommends and Drivers licenses. Big smiles came onto their faces and they soon escorted us out to our car, wished us a good night and allowed us to drive away with a great story to tell. I knew that my Temple Recommend could help me get into the Lord's house but I never dreamed it could help me avoid going to the 'Big house.' This time the lost sheep that we were hoping to bring back to the fold sadly ended up going to a different pen. I hope that you have a wonderful day!

Sincerely,
Daryl Zadok Budd

P.S. Feel free to forward this story on to anyone that you'd like. It's too funny not to share it because it's a true experience that really happened to me.

One Of My New Favorite Movies

I've always been intrigued by "Gone With The Wind" but have never seen it. I put it on our Netflix list and we watched it last night. I have to say. It's one of my new favorite movies. The acting was great. Everything was good about it, the set design, the costumes, everything!

One of the reasons I wanted to watch it was because of all of the awards it has received. It received a record number of Academy Awards and is one of the highest grossing films in Hollywood...ever...not bad for a film made in 1939.

I have to say I really enjoyed this movie. It definitely is timeless. Dan even watched the whole thing with me, not something he usually does if it's a "girl" movie. If you're looking for a good film to watch, get this one. It's really incredible. You will not be disappointed. In fact, I'll be reading the book shortly.

My Ostrich Wish

Sometimes I wish I could put my head in the sand like an ostrich and forget all that is going on in this world. The past couple of weeks have been especially weird. First we were bombarded with the Democratic National Convention, now it's the Republicans. Granted, I don't really affiliate with any party. I'm more conservative than not, but enough already! They've been campaigning for like a year and a half! I'm so sick of people calling everyone else out saying that they're horrible for being conservative or Republican or that they're horrible for being a liberal or Democrat. I understand that there has to be a party in power. That is the nature of our government after all. I just wish that I didn't have to hear about it every other minute, complete with analysis of every word in every candidate's speech...including their inflection and tone with each word.

Like I said, I'm conservative. All I'm trying to do here in this world is live the best life I can. I try to help others, I try to be honest, I try to do the right things. Obviously that hasn't always happened...I'm only human. We ALL are! I don't want to hear about the kind of celebrities Obama has supporting him or whether or not McCain was funny on that late night talk show...and whether or not your daughter chooses to have premarital sex and get pregnant is not going to dictate whether or not you would be a good leader for the country.

I guess what I'm saying is this...wake up people! We need to help those around us and be kind to one another...not point fingers. I plan on voting, and I will probably vote for the more conservative candidate, but that doesn't mean that I hate liberals or feel I should "convert" them to my way of thinking. It's their God given right to be able to vote and voice their opinion. Just because they believe differently than me doesn't make them horrible people. They just simply believe differently than me.

I only have one final thing to say....get out and vote. I don't care who you vote for...just vote.

I can't wait until election time is over and the war of words stops.

Settling In

I'm settling in nicely to my "new" life. What is my "new" life you say? Now that Dan has graduated and has started working as a nurse, his career, we have so much more family time. It's taken a little bit to get used to. At first I didn't know what to do with myself. Dan has been really supportive and we've been able to have family dinners at the kitchen table. It has been really nice. It's also cheaper and more healthy for us to eat in more...that's always a good thing.

In some ways, I've felt like a single parent for the last three years. Whenever we got to do something fun, like go to the circus or the zoo or even just hang out with friends, it was always (for the most part) just Ethan and I. Dan was usually at work, headed to work, at school, or studying for school. Don't get me wrong, I totally understand the importance of all the work he did, but in some ways he really did miss out on Ethan sometimes. My hat goes off to any moms out there who are putting their husbands through school. It's hard sometimes with the kids ALL the time. People don't realize that when the husbands are doing 16 hour days, working full time and going to school, you are too.

So now we're settling in. Ethan loves having his daddy around more. Dan is loving his new job in the cardiac unit. I am just happy to have him home. I'm happy for family time again.

The "C" Word

Cancer....it's a scary word. There are a lot of emotions that go with this word, fear, depression, anger...it's a lot to deal with. To protect the person involved, I'm not saying who, but someone very close to us has recently found out that they have cancer. It's a scary time as they just found out and will be going in to specialists this week. Please keep those afflicted with this disease in your thoughts and prayers this week, especially the one close to us.

Our Weekend

Well, we had a pretty good one. Dan worked on Friday, but had the rest of the weekend off! A first in and of itself. With his job in Home Care, he usually ended up working most holidays. On Saturday, we were lazy and just stayed around the house. On Sunday, it was off to church, as a family! That was really awesome for us because Dan a lot of times would get called out and not be able to stay the whole time or he would have to leave and come back. I also got to visit with the home teachers on Sunday and got to relax. I read my book and just relaxed. I haven't done that in a long time.

Yesterday, I did a bit of shopping in the morning. Later on, Jenny called and asked if we wanted to go to dinner and a movie with her and Moby. We got my parents to babysit and we went to Olive Garden (mmmm...) and to the movies. We went and saw Iron Man at the Sugarhouse discount theater. All in all a really great time. It was really nice to have some adult time with Jenny and Moby without having to wrangle children in between our conversations. We had a really good time!

As for today, I'm back to the daily grind, and Dan is back at work, although he only has to work an eight hour shift today as opposed to a 12. He did have to take my car to work today. I heard the garage door go up and wondered about that. I got a text a little bit later that said his tire was flat so he had to take my car. Oh well. I was just planning on doing some cleaning and stuff around the house today anyway.

Until next time...

The Off Day

Today started out pretty well. Dan went to work. I got up, worked, took care of Ethan. We went and hung out with Jenny and the kids. It was fun, especially since I hadn't seen Jenny for a week or so. I was looking forward to having our usual relaxing time together. Then Ethan decided he was tired an ornery and that he was going to be difficult today. He's not usually like that, but when he is....it's not pretty. He couldn't tell me what he needed, what he wanted, and what was wrong. Everything was drama. He was just driving me crazy. I suppose it doesn't help that I'm hormonal right now either...no I'm not pregnant...just hormonal.

Anyway, why is it that sometimes they can be the sweetest blessings in your life and other times you just want to beat the ever living crap out of them? (Not that I would actually do that, but that doesn't mean I can't feel that way sometimes.) I just hate it. Sometimes I wish I could skip this whole toddler tantrum phase. I know when he's older I'll miss it though. Ah, the conundrums of being a parent. You always want what's ahead until you've got it and then you miss the past.

Memo To Mommy

I was reading my Parents magazine and they had an article called "Memo to Mommy." It had some really neat things to think about...especially when dealing with a toddler. Maybe Ethan would say these things to me if he could.

1. Stop freaking out about the mess! There's always time to clean - but how often do we get to make mud pies?

2. Love me, even when I'm naughty. I'll only be this age once.

3. Be patient. I do everything for a reason, but I don't know enough words yet to give you an explanation.

4. Don't try to reason with me when I'm having a tantrum. Trust me - I can't hear you over my own screaming.

5. Don't expect too much of me. I want to do what you ask and make you happy, but I'm still little.

6. Set limits. I can't actually eat a whole box of cookies - I just want to see if I'd get away with it.

7. Don't let me think that you're perfect. I feel a lot better knowing I'm not the only one who makes mistakes sometimes.

8. Let me do it. I know you can do it faster and better, but sometimes experience is the best teacher.

Anyway, I really enjoyed the article. It really helped put things into perspective. Sometimes I forget that Ethan is only three and he's still learning. Sometimes I need to stop and remember that.

Feeling Good

I'm feeling a lot better than I have in the past few days. I think some of that has to do with the fact that I've been exercising the past couple of nights. The other part is that Dan has been home. He will be working a lot less hours for more money now that he is an actual nurse. He has his first day on the job today. :) I think he's going to like working there. He got up early and everything, not something Dan does lightly. He is definitely NOT a morning person AT ALL.

Anyway, like I said, things seem to have calmed down in my mind. I'm a lot more centered. Sometimes to get that way I have to beat myself down by exercising. It makes some of that stress go away.

We're going to the zoo today with Abby and Debi. I'm excited. I haven't seen Debi in a while and it will be nice to catch up...especially since she's having her baby in like 4 weeks!

Until next time...

Progress???

Well, Ethan has made some progress on the potty training front I guess. We've figured out that every time he has to go No. 2, he goes upstairs and flushes the toilet, then, even after we have him sit on the potty, promptly goes in his diaper. Then, after his nap today, he was successful in escaping from said diaper and I went in to see that he had peed on the floor...I guess being aware of the bodily functions is progress???

Please say that it is...

Enjoy The Randomness

As you can see in my sidebar, I finally started to use my Twitter account. I think it's a fun thing. I'm mostly going to use it for random thoughts I'm having and stuff that's going on. It will probably be pretty random stuff, so enjoy.

This is my new mousepad. Rather fitting isn't it?

Well, Thanks Alisa!

Alisa's suggestion of a potty box for Ethan has really been a hit with him. He's doing a lot better today and it's really helping with the incentive for him to actually sit on the potty. I have a hard time getting him to hold still sometimes but the potty box and singing songs with him to pass the time while he's on the potty really seem to be helping.

Ethan actually told me when he had to pee today! It was the best feeling! He looked at me and said, "Oh no! My poopy!" I asked if he had to go potty and we went up. After he relaxed a bit he actually went pee on the toilet. There was a little bit of pee in his diaper so I know he realized what was happening and stopped it! Amazing progress for only being at this for a few days. I guess we'll continue on this path. I think it's working okay. I still have him "try" about every half hour or hour. As long as the potty box is full, hopefully his bladder won't be.

Reporting from the trenches....

A Step Back

Well, I've taken just a little step back in the potty training thing. I was cleaning up pee and poop right and left and Ethan really wasn't sure what I wanted him to do. I don't know why I thought the "jump in with both feet" method would work for Ethan. He has always done things on his own time. Right now we're going with a suggestion from my niece, Alisa, who has a little boy a bit older than Ethan. She used a potty box. Basically you take a box and let the child decorate it with whatever they want. I let Ethan pick out some cute stickers at the store. You then fill the box with little trinkets and treats. I also let Ethan pick out what treats he wanted in the box. Ethan, and a lot of kids, do better, with most anything, when they feel their opinion matters. Whenever they "try" on the potty, they get one item from the box. If they "go" they get two. Eventually you wean them off of the treat for "trying" and just give a treat for "going." I think this may work. I don't know. The cleaning of the poop and pee and the stress it was causing was definitely not good for me or Ethan. I really hope this works...

Here's hoping...

BTW...the picture in this post was taken by Jenn. It's one of my favorites of Ethan.

Poop Doesn't Happen At Our House

Who knew bodily functions that aren't my own could be so stressful. Since Ethan turned three I've been trying to figure out how to start him on potty training. I've done some things, but have had no success. He just doesn't "get" how to go on the toilet yet. I know he's smart and he'll get it eventually. I'm just sick of the weird looks I get when my three-year-old-who-is-the-size-of-a-five-year-old has to go have his diaper changed. I just want to know how to explain this to him. I somehow feel like him not being potty trained is somehow a personal failure on my part. I know logically that's not true, but it's still frustrating.

Any ideas?

Now That The Craziness Is Over....

I feel like we've been gone forever on vacation and so busy. I'm was so glad to go, but now I'm glad it's over. I'm finally able to get back to some semblance of a normal routine at my house. I've been doing some cleaning, and I think I'm in hormonal/OCD mode. I scrubbed, yes scrubbed on my hands and knees, my floors yesterday. I just wanted it done, so I did it. Sometimes OCD can be a beautiful thing.

Let's see, what has been going on with us...well we went up to East Canyon with my family last week for part of the week. We really had a great time. We went swimming a lot, which Ethan loved. He wasn't as scared of the water this time. He actually was trying to swim. It's funny though, whenever I told him to kick his legs it looked more like he was trying to run in the water. Funny, I don't think anyone on this earth now can walk on water...maybe he's just too young to know that yet.

We also went to Park City and Ethan and I went on the Alpine Coaster. It is so much more fun than the Alpine Slide. You don't have to ride the tram up, which what mom wouldn't be nervous about doing THAT with a three year old, you just ride in the car the whole way up. You're also bolted to the track and bolted in. We went so fast. A couple of times it was too fast for me, but Ethan loved it. He even cried when I made him get out of the car and come back down to where everyone was waiting. I also got to do a bit of shopping at the outlet stores in Park City. I could've spent SO much money there, but I showed some restraint. I really wanted to get some Vans for Ethan at the Vans outlet. They were so cute! But who knows what size shoe he'll be wearing in the next few months, so I didn't get them. It only took him two months to grow out of his sandals. All in all, we had a really great time.

As far as me, things are still about the same. I have my good days and my bad days. I'm still taking the Clomid, and it's still giving me hot flashes like a menopausal woman. I'm willing to tough that out though for the final result. It's just terribly uncomfortable when you're completely fine one minute and the next you're drenched in sweat. I have a new found respect for any woman going through the hot flashes. They're just strange. I've still been going to the gym. I wasn't able to go during vacation and when we were up at East Canyon though so it's been a bit to get back to where I was. I think I'm almost there though. I'm really achy today, partly because of the gym and partly because of the scrubbing the floors with a sponge thing. Oh well, at least it's good exercise.

Until we meet again...

I Hereby Declare Today...

International Embarrass Your Husband With His Freaky Weird Mullet Picture Day! Celebrate with one you love. Enjoy your new holiday people!

Counting cars.

More Graduation Pics

I wanted to share some of the graduation pictures that we're getting from the professional photographer that was at Dan's graduation. By the way, Dan has a job already! He starts on August 25. He'll be working in the cardiac unit at the new Intermountain Medical Center in Murray! We're so excited. We also got his license copy from the state in the mail so it's all official with paperwork and everything now.

Well Today's The Day

Today is my eight year anniversary. I can't believe it has been that long. Sometimes it seems like I can't remember when I wasn't married, others it seems like we're still newlyweds. I love Dan more everyday. We are friends and confidantes to each other. We are together forever. I am so glad we got married and that we have continuing love everyday. Times haven't always been easy, but I wouldn't want to share anything, good or bad, with anyone except Dan. He is caring, loving, and a wonderful father and husband. He works so hard for our family. I love you Dan. Happy anniversary!

So I'm Back...

We got back from Bear Lake on Saturday and we're relaxed now, at least for the time being. I also wanted to brag a little...I've already finished the last in the Twilight series, Breaking Dawn. It was such a good book! I won't give away anything here, but I was really pleased with the way the story was written.

In other news, Dan has three, hopefully four, job offers coming to him. Once we hear on the last one, he'll make his decision on which one he wants. :)

It Has Been Good

Well, Dan had four job interviews yesterday. He feels really good about all of them. We should be hearing from them within the next few days. I'm really excited for Dan. He has worked so hard for this and he's finally here on the brink of his actual career. It's such a wonderful feeling to have him be at this point.

We're really having a fun time up here at the cabin. Ethan loves the water and playing with all of his cousins. He's having so much fun!

Fun on the four wheelers. Ethan is obsessed with them! He was scared of the noise at first but now he loves them nd has aleeasdy ridden several times today.

Isn't it pretty!

Trailers are fun!

Well We Made It

We made it up to Bear Lake. Dan has to go back down later in the week for like half a day for interviews for nursing jobs but we'll still have fun. We're just hanging out here. I'll probably be posting some pictures later in the week.

Brooklyn is the cleanest cat in the world.

He PASSED!!!

We weren't expecting the results this soon, but I was playing around on the Internet this morning and his license is already there! Dan passed! He is officially able to practice as a nurse now! Yay!

Congratulations Beqi and Scot! Their little one was born this afternoon!

Tests...

I'm not even the one taking the test and I'm nervous...Dan is taking his NCLEX right now. It's funny how a little questionnaire has so much weight in determining how your future will be. I know we just have to wait and see, but I'm not a patient person. Anyone who knows me knows that. Waiting kills me every time...for anything. I have no choice this time though. It's not as if I can go up to the Utah Department of Occupational & Professional Licensing and perform a shakedown to get his results, however effective my the illogical part of my mind thinks that may be. We just have to wait. That seems to be the story of my life lately. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

My Birthday...

I've been meaning to write about my birthday for the last couple of days, I just hadn't gotten around to it yet. I'm the big 28 this year. I've been okay with this, but I can't help but cringe when I think that I'm only two years away from the dreaded 30. The funny thing is I'm older now than some of my Young Women leaders were when I was in that group at church. At the time, I thought they were old. I guess I was wrong, or maybe they were acting older. I definitely don't feel old though, at least not most of the time.

I really had a good birthday. I got to hang out with my mom. She took Ethan and I to lunch at Chili's. I love that place. Ethan was so cute. We were getting ready to leave when he realized that he didn't have any more of his drink left. He turned to the waitress and said, "Excuse me. I get some more?" It was funny. They put it in a little to go cup for him. As far as everything else, I got some wonderful cards from people and some great gifts.

Yesterday, Jenny and I let our moms watch the kids and we went out to Cafe Rio for my birthday. That's one of my favorite places to eat. We went to the one in Taylorsville...and we just happened to get caught in that really bad storm, but we were okay. It was fun eating out without the kids. After that, we hung out with the kids at Jenny's mom's house. The kids wanted to be outside, so we let them play outside in the rain while we sat under the patio. Ethan didn't want to leave. He loves playing with Julia and Jack so much!

All in all, it was a good birthday. I'm happy to be alive and happy to have a birthday. It's the only time I can get Dan to stop at Old Navy or any other store without him complaining...

He's Done!

Dan had his graduation on Friday night! It was a lot of fun to see him up there getting his diploma. He is officially an RN now! He takes the state licensing exam on Friday. After the ceremony, we went out to Rodizio's and had dinner. It is one of Dan's favorite places. Everyone was so proud of him. They even made the people at Rodizio's sing to him.

Ethan Is Three!

I went and got Ethan's three year old pictures taken a bit ago and we just got them this week! They turned out really cute even though Ethan didn't want to cooperate. Here you go!

Endorphins & Waiting

So I'm into week two of going to work out. My plan is to go at least three times each week. I've already met that for this week. I'm probably doing four this week! I love the rush that I get. I can go to the gym in a completely bad mood, ready to rip someone's head off, and then afterward, after working out all of that aggression, I'm calm...I'm happy...I'm out of my own head for once. I has really helped my anxiety/depression stuff. Brain chemistry is an interesting thing that way.

I've been really struggling with some things as of late, especially since a few people around me have gotten what I want, but for some reason can't have yet. A couple of people I know are pregnant right now, not by choice. They're young. I wish them all the best, but it has to be hard when you didn't mean for something like that to happen. I'm having a hard time with it I guess because we have been trying for number two for a while now and my body isn't doing what it's supposed to do. I'm getting to the point where my body is starting to work, but it's just kind of a downer for me when someone who wasn't intending what I desire so badly ends up with the result that I want.

Exercising really seems to quell these feelings, that and reading my scriptures. I haven't read for the past few nights, but I need to get back on that. There has to be a reason why I haven't been blessed with a new baby yet. I just wish I knew that reason so that I could know what's ahead for me. Meanwhile, I'm doing everything I can to help my body along. I think the exercise will help. I'm also still taking the medicine to kick start things. The medicine seems to be working, we just haven't had anything take yet. Such is life I guess. I know we're supposed to have more additions to our family. I've felt that. I guess this is Heavenly Father's way of trying to teach me patience. I don't think I'm learning that anytime soon, but I'm trying. I'm trying to remember that things happen in God's time, not necessarily ours.

Here's to waiting in faith...

Thought For Today

One of the random things I thought about the other day while I was at the gym on the elliptical was this:

Could there be a way to harness the energy of all these people on the treadmills etc. to power the gym's electricity? I bet there's a way, but it would suck if you were the only one there working out.

Tagged...

Kerri tagged me with this, so I thought I'd do a post.

Okay here are the rules:

1. You link back to the person who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. Share six unimportant things about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your entry.
5. Let the tagged people know by leaving a comment on their blogs
6. Enjoy the results!

Six unimportant things about me:

1. I have an Indiana Jones scar on my chin. I even went as Indiana Jones for Halloween one year. It was from an unfortunate mishap when I was little with my face hitting a heater vent.

2. I wrote a novel when I was about 13, it was never published.

3. I like reading some poetry, but I hated studying it in school. I think it's dumb to make kids interpret what the poet was thinking when they wrote this poem or that poem.

4. My first car was a Mazda MX-6. I only had it for three weeks. I was hit from behind and the car was totalled before I even made the first payment.

5. One of my earliest memories is sitting in the car, driving somewhere or driving home with my mom. We were near our house. I must've been two or three. We were in her little red car driving and listening to the radio. She asked me if I liked the song that was on the radio. I said that I did. Then she asked who my favorite singer was. I said Michael Jackson. Weird that I remember that, but I can remember sitting in the front seat and everything.

6. I think I broke my toe the night before Josh's wedding. I fell down the stairs and it's now different than the same toe on my other foot. It hurt really bad, but I still toughed it out and wore heels the whole day for the wedding.

I'm tagging whoever wants to answer this that reads my blog. If you do this, please let me know so I can read your random things.