Improvement

I've begun working on the never ending quest to improve myself again this week.  I've been to the gym twice this week and I know I'm definitely going to feel today's workout tomorrow...I can already feel it now.  I'm working on sleeping better and I think I'm making headway.  The past two nights I have just waited until my body was ready to go to sleep...it wasn't ready until 5:00 a.m. the first night and then 4:00 a.m. last night (this morning).  I guess I'm making progress! 

At this rate, I might go to bed at a normal hour sometime next year.  I know it's coming, but it's in my nature to be impatient.  It's in my DNA.  Once I make a decision on something, I want to make it happen immediately.  I see no reason to wait.  It's especially annoying when things like science or the laws of time and space override my will.  The workouts are helping with my anxiety levels.  I can already tell that, but of course, patience is not my forte.  As far as sleeping goes, I guess I don't have a choice.  I can't force things.  I have to let them happen.  I think they are headed in the right direction.

Here's hoping...

Update

So, I thought I'd update on my progress thus far.  It has been a rough couple of days, to say the least.  I'm hanging in there and I seem to be seeing light at the end of the tunnel as far as my sleeping goes. 

I have tried to be active during the days, and I'm feeling more like myself.  I'm also hoping for a change in Dan's hours at some point in the next few months.  Having a non-vampiric schedule should help as well.  My anxiety and OCD are a daily, if not hourly some days, battle.  I know, barring a miraculous event, it will always be that way. I'm okay with that most of the time.  I find great solace and happiness in my family and friends.  My kids are a riot.  Sydney even tried to put me on time out yesterday.  Too funny.

Until next time....

OCD, GAD, and Insomnia...Oh My!

Well, it has been a while since I have written.  I want to change that, but we'll see if I actually follow through.  I have been suffering from insomnia for about the past two years, since Sydney was born.  I've tried various things and, most recently, I have been taking Ambien to help me sleep.  While this was a wonderful relief for me in the beginning, I have decided to try to get off of it.  I don't want to be dependent on it. 

I know my anxiety disorder requires treatment and I'm fine with that, but my sleeping was fine before I had Sydney.  My anxiety disorder (GAD) and OCD may make it difficult, but I talked to my doctor and they say I can stop the pills without tapering off.  I may have insomnia for a few days, but should get back to normal within a week, hopefully sooner.  Here's to some sweet dreams...hopefully.