Our Own Stuff

I guess in this life we all have our own "stuff" to deal with. Some people live their lives in wheelchairs, some have learning disabilities, some have anxiety, some have financial problems, the list goes on and on...but today was a reminder that my son will always have "stuff" to deal with, something I'm all too familiar with...anxiety. He seems to be adjusting well, but every now and again we'll have a blip on the radar. Today was a blip. He's incredibly smart and learns so quickly, but socially, he is definitely lacking sometimes. When he gets into a situation where he feels anxious, threatened, or doesn't understand the other kids it's hard for him. It's hard for me to deal with too, which is totally about me, not him.

He's fine. He's a wonderful little boy and I love him dearly, but I can't help feeling responsible for his "stuff" sometimes. We are genetically related after all. Of course, in the scheme of things he'll be fine and I will too, but it's just frustrating sometimes. I wish there were a magic button to be pushed that would make it better or help me understand it better. I don't know if understanding it would make the situation any better or worse, but at least I would feel like I could do something, like there was something I could quantify. If I could quantify it, I could fix it...in theory. People are much more complicated than all that. A plus B doesn't necessarily equal C when it comes to people and our issues. Today, my prayer is for strength to be what he needs me to be and do what he needs me to do to overcome his issues. I guess that's the hope for any mother, but it's really on my mind today.