Thinking...

It's one thing I can never seem to stop doing...I guess that's a good thing. If I'm no longer thinking, I may have had an annurism or something. Sometimes it's not so fun. Right now, I can't sleep, as usual, and the house is quiet. It gets so quiet sometimes even when there are others around. It's like there is a bubble separating me from joining the living sometimes. I know that's probably my depression talking, but nonetheless it's something I feel at times.

Lately, I've been thinking A LOT about people that have passed within the last few years, my mother-in-law Vicki, my Grandpa Page, my sweet cousin Lariann. It just seems that we always just want a few more minutes with them. I know they're around though. I think they look in on us from time to time. It doesn't make me miss them any less though. Sometimes it feels like they just passed yesterday. Other times it seems so long ago. Especially when I think of Vicki, Dan's mom, it makes me sad she's not here. I hope she knows she is missed and that I think of her often.

For Christmas, my sister-in-law Becki and my mother-in-law Linda, Dan's stepmom, finished one of the last Christmas projects Vicki was going to do for all of her kids. She always was doing that at Christmas. She loved to craft. It was so nice of them to finish it. Basically all of them were almost done. Just a few finishing touches. It was almost like she was there. It was so nice to just remember her and her love.

Sometimes I feel those that have passed on around me. Sometimes it's just for a quick "hug", but it's comforting nonetheless. There's nothing like a "hug" from Grandpa when you need it.

Sorry this post is so depressing. I've just been thinking about these things a lot lately. I guess my point is this, remember those that have gone on. Maybe they're not as far away as you think.